is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
