I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize