my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
