This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
