addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
