FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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