I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize