An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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