It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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