Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
