I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
