She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
