Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What drink are we having for lunch?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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