please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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