This girl is more easily done than said...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize