I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize