Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
