Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize