He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
