Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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