hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
