Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
