i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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