Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
