I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
