Yo dont text me then not text me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize