she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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