Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
