dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
