It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
