Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize