like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
