i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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