If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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