dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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