so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
