Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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