At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize