i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
