youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
