i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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