I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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