I wish I only lived at night.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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