I'm really into asian looking animals
My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
