What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
