she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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