brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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