do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
