I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You were trust falling into bushes
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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