His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
