you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
do nipples grow back?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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