If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
