Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
there was a trapeze. enough said
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
