I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
