just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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