I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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