You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
