i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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