just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
