I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
