I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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