it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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