walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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